Deadly Cookie Dough Strikes Nation!

I have terrible terrible news!!!!

I am no longer in the dorm room!!!!!!

I'm going to have to change the name of this blog to..."From The House Which Is Almost But Not Quite As Interesting As The Dorm Room"

.....Or I could just keep the name the same because summer is not permanant

Which brings me to my first point:

SUMMER

Yes Ladies and Gentleman, school is finally out!!!!

...And yet something is off

Apparantly during High School summer was the best thing to ever happen to a child:

• Nice Weather!
• Freedom!
• Friends!
• Movies!

Then suddenly I went to college and now....

• Nice Weather!
• Job!
• Friends in other parts of the country!
• Bored out of my mind!

That list didn't sound as awesome did it??

That's because college actually wasn't that bad...in fact I can't wait to go back

WHAT???

DID I SAY I CAN'T WAIT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL??

(If you are not on the same page as me then your college experience was not what it should have been...try harder)

In Other News..

Some of you may have noticed that I am up at 5 in the morning...

This is because I couldn't sleep

Obviously it is because I have SWINE FLU!!!!!!!!!

Just Kidding

But Really...I'm kind of sick of the "Swine Flu Epidemic" that's sweeping our nation

And when I say sweeping our nation,

I mean being blown out of proportion by our media

Yes I love you newspaper, television, and radio....but this just won't do

For their amusement the media finds it necessary to focus on how catastrophic the swine flu is

Along with leaving out the fact that THOUSANDS more people dying from the "normal" flu...and the fact that the VACCINE has killed more people than the disease

......Wow

And just when I thought the media couldn't blow anything else out of proportion...A new story came out

RETURN YOUR RAW COOKIE DOUGH!!!!!

YOU WILL DIE IF YOU EAT THIS

HORRIBLE,

TAINTED,

DESERT FOOD!

Apparantly 66 people have gotten E.Colli sickness over the past 4 months

......I'll say that again

66

There are 300 billion people in the U.S. and 66 people got sick (And Lived)

According to Health Dictionary 3 out of every 10 thousand people get E. Coli

....That's an expected 10 million cases a year

....66 people is a speed bump

...Or a pebble

No No Wait

It's a Bacterium

*Ba Dum Ching

According to news sources "many" of them had

eaten raw cookie dough before

....."Many" not "All"

Therefore it MUST be the cookie dough

That's like saying 100 people got Cancer and 60 of them drank fruit punch

....Well obviously Hawaiian Punch causes Cancer

WHAT?!?!?!?

Anyone who has bought TollHouse Cookie Dough must return it right now

Because the millions of other people eating cookie dough right now and NOT getting sick are crazy

LIGHTBULB!

COOKING=KILLING OF BACTERIA

Why don't people just cook the cookie dough instead?

You get E. Coli poisoning from eating raw beef...but we're still allowed to cook THAT

*Golf Clap For Jeff

HOMEWORK:

Eat TollHouse Cookie Dough

Tape Yourself NOT Dying

Send The Tape To CNN

Talk to Ya Later!

St. Patrick's Day/ Spring Break

"The Minstrel Boy to the war is gone

In the ranks of death you will find him

His father's sword he hath girded on

And his wild harp slung behind him

Land of Song! said the warrior bard

Tho' all the world betrays thee

One sword, at least, thy rights shall guard

One faithful harp shall praise thee!

The Minstrel fell! But the foeman's chain

Could not bring that proud soul under

The harp he lov'd ne'er spoke again

For he tore its chords asunder

And said "No chains shall sully thee

Thou soul of love and brav'ry!

Thy songs were made for the pure and free,

They shall never sound in slavery!"

This is one of many songs that will be sung in the spirit of:

St. Patty's Day!!!

(For those of you who don't know...the national color of Ireland is actually BLUE)

Of course when this day arrives there will be plenty of

• Partying,
• Drinking,
• Singing,
• Dancing,
• General merrymaking

Just as long as people stay safe and have fun......

ya...

That's all for my public safety announcement of the day

IN OTHER NEWS

I have Spring Break this week

Lots of people have been having breaks right around this time, and it's pretty exciting.

I myself am staying here at school for Spring Break.....

Don't feel bad for me...

I'm actually pretty pumped about it...

For those of you going to different countries over break....


LUUUCCCKKKYYYY!!!!!!

I'm Kidding...

But Really

I figured out that College Spring Break was actually way more of a big deal in High School than in actual College.


In High School people were like:

Oh My God! Spring Break once your in college is hundreds of naked women partying in Mexico. And your entire school is there on the beach. And everything is free. And you party like never before in your entire life.

In College people are ACTUALLY like:

Oh you're staying here at college? Ya, I'm going home for a week to hang with my parents and some of my High School friends. Mexico? Haha, maybe if I wanted to spend $2500...and nobody I know wants to come anyway.

So I hope you college kids are doing something fun or interesting!!

I hope you High School kids realize that you don't really have crazy stuff to look forward to!!

I hope you adults which you were back in college!!

And I hope you old people are not reading my blog!! (Just kidding, I love you all just the same)

HOMEWORK:
Keep Living The Dream...
Unless You Get To Go To Mexico...
Then Just Shut Your Face.

Talk to Ya Later!

Dr. Seuss Has Nothing On Me!!

Today is the first day of March, and I am bored out of my mind

So I've decided to rhyme this post for no reason of any kind.

If you want to hear me babble, then go on right ahead

I cannot be held accountable for anything I might have said.


First I'll mention the weather, because I'm feeling lazy

It rains, it snows, it shines, it blows, I'll soon be driven crazy

The trees are bare, the ground is wet, I really hate this season

And you should all agree with me if you are men of reason.


Now to all the women reading, I am sorry for that mistake

But in order to rhyme the sentence it is one I had to make.


Next on the agenda is the midterms coming near

Something nobody looks forward to, for they come twice a year

If you are worried about your grade than I have some tips for you

Simply copy off an Asian, while you're at it make it two.


Now for all you Asians reading I must apologize

I said in the beginning I am not exceptionally wise.

If you find yourself offended then stop your reading here

I do not want an angry mob barking up my rear.


You know classes are tomorrow, and teachers are real pains

You'll be half-way across the country if you have any brains.

I guess classes aren't a problem if you finished all your stuff

But everybody knows that we teenagers have it rough.


You go to class, you call your mom, you finish all your work

You are tired and you're hungry and you're roommate is a jerk.

You're writing for the paper and you have a deadline due

But you cannot find your sources and now you have the flu

If this is not enough, then you go and oversleep your class

Now you're behind in all your work and your teacher kicks your ass.


If this all sounds familiar than I am just like you

But if you don't know what I'm talking about, you're over 22.


Now it's getting close to dinner, and life revolves around my meal

So I guess it's time to call it quits and let my fingers heal.

HOMEWORK: If you thought this post was stupid and will never read again,

I hope that you come back next time when I post God knows when.



Talk to Ya Later!

Why Are You Awake?

I think it's appropriate that being up at 2:00 in the morning requires me to make a post about it.

And it is this....

The problems with doing homework at 2:00 in the morning!!!

Positives:

1.You get to do whatever you want ALL DAY

(You can worry about that pesky project later on)

2. It's nice and quiet...everyone's asleep...giving you plenty of:

T H I N K I N G S P A C E

3.You are too tired to worry about tomorrow, consequences no longer worry you.

Negatives:

1. You are so tired that you are going to do a really bad job...making the process of doing it in the first place.........pointless

2. You are leaving it until the last minute!!

(Creating bad habits for the future)

3. You are rushing through the work because you want to get to bed

4. You are not going to get enough sleep, and therefore the information will not truly register

A.K.A. YOU ARE GOING TO FORGET ANYTHING YOU LEARN TONIGHT

So for those of you doing homework at this time.....

Shame On You!!!

or

Good Job!!! Rock On!!!

(It depends on which stance you take...don't let me tell you what's good or bad)

Make Up Your Own Stupid Mind!!!

HOMEWORK: Stay up until 2:00 a.m. then try not to miss your 10:00 a.m. class.


Talk to Ya Later!

Am I Completely Crazy?

First Draft:

SoI have plenty of friends and what-not who have blogs of their own.

And I was wondering.....

What do all of YOU think of the layout of:

"From The Dorm Room"

I scrolled through the pages and pages of text and thought....

Wow, I am so unprofessional

But I guess the question really goes to you.

I'm known for adding GIANT words and unnecessary color to my blogs..

But does that take away from what I'm saying or make it more interesting?

Believe me:

There's a method to my madness.

I always figured: I write for a paper and I know people get blocks of text everyday.


Whether it's:

• Reading the newspaper,
• Doing homework,
  
• Reading a book,
  
• Anything really

So I figured I'd kind of put on a show....make the page pop out and look crazy.

But I don't need to do that.

HOMEWORK: Comment and tell me what you think!

Second Draft:


I have plenty of friends and what-not who have blogs of their own. And I was wondering what all of you think about the layout of "From The Dorm Room". As I scrolled through the pages and pages of text I thought, "Wow, I am so unprofessional."

But I guess the question really goes to you-the readers. I've been known for adding giant words and unnecessary color to my blogs, but does that take away from what I'm saying? Or does it make the page more interesting?

Comment and tell me what you think!



Talk to Ya Later

For People Who Don't Like The Outdoors....

So it's something that has been long due as the nerd I am.......

VIDEO GAMES!!! YAY!!!

Here in my dorm room my roommate and I have it pimped out with plenty of technology. We have:

• Television screen,
  
• Large flat-screen computer monitor,
  
• Pumpin sound system,
  
• PS3 and Wii

....Ya, we're men

So in light of this fact, I've basically decided this:

Once a week, the one called BLISS shall review a piece of technology in the modern world.
This is the word of the Lord.

As said above, this can apply to: A new game, system, movie, speaker set, anything....

And as an avid user of all of the above, you are all soooo lucky to hear from me

(Except of course those of you who actually go OUTDOORS..haha...what a thought)

First on my list:

PS3 VS. Wii

While some people think this extremely easy, it actually isn't...

As both Sony and Nintendo have made a substantial amount of cash with their systems.

For Good Reason

The trick to deciding which system to get is finding out what exactly you are looking for

GRAPHICS

Wii: Ok, I think everybody knows that the Wii is not exactly known for it's "technology". It's true...when it comes to graphics the Wii is a failure. But when looking at the thing it is pretty obvious...

I mean my sneaker weighs more than that thing.

(For those of you taking that comment literally....Corner)

However, it is not to be said that the graphics are not fun to look at. The graphics fit what the Wii is trying to do. The games Nintendo puts out there are not supposed to look realistic

(Have you seen the giant-headed Mii's??)

PS3: Awesome graphics.

In the PS2 there were a lot of great game intro graphics
...and then the game looked like something out of pacman.
But with the PS3, you feel like you got your money's worth. The games look great, and I have to say....it makes it a little more fun to play when the game looks and feels realistic.

*Winner= PS3

GAME ORIGINALITY

Wii: The Wii is spot on.

With games never seen before, Nintendo constantly has people waiting to see what they come out with next.
Of course, with the WiiMote, they also have the ability to make games that the PS3 cannot.
....Suck it Sony!

PS3: The Playstation has a couple new games here and there.

(I just got this game called LittleBigPlanet, and it's amazingly original and awesome)

But overall, there are really only 4 main game categories for Sony.

1. You have the "GTA" games...which are just Grand Theft Auto with different titles.
   
2. You have the "Prince of Persia" games...these include Viking, Rise of the Argonauts, any game where your some mythical or medieval person in a realm of monsters and for some reason "puzzles".
   
3. You have the "Call of Duty" games...including all of the war games, Halo, and any Playstation shooter.
   
4. And you have the sports games.

That's it. Predictable.

* Winner=Undecided

While the Wii has many more original games..the few original games PS3 has to offer blow the Wii out of the water. Wii has quantity, PS3 has quality....it's a hard call.

FUN FACTOR

Wii:

You're standing in front of the TV, your lightsaber in hand. As you use the control stick to move Darth Vader, you are swinging your sword through baddies and lunging at the TV, sending robots flying at the wall.
You are playing the Wii, and you are liking it.

PS3:

You're sitting on the couch, using the same controller you've had for the last 6 years, playing the newest Halo for a week straight. Your leg has fallen asleep, and you are half playing the game, half trying to balance a bowl of popcorn on your stomach.
You are playing the PS3, and you've gained 30 pounds.

*Winner=Wii

ONLINE PLAY

Wii: There isn't even enough online play for me to make fun of....Wow

PS3: Makes every game 100 times better.

Online play makes this system what it is.

*Winner=PS3

For those of you who actually read the above portion....You enjoy good commentary on video gaming...and you are a nerd like me.

For those of you who didn't:

GET OVER IT

You'll have to deal with this only once a week, so pretend to care for the sake of being civil.

That being said...you can make your own gaming decisions. I'm just here to help you along the way.

Just remember, think about you want and look at what I said about each system.

Ask Yourself:

• Do I want online play?
  
• Do I want to jump around or not?
  
• Do I like graphics or does only gameplay matter?

These are Life and Death questions

(Once again, if you are taking this literally, you do not know me yet...stay home)

HOMEWORK: Sit In A Chair And Look At The TV For At Least 6 Hours...It's Good To Be A Gamer

Talk to Ya Later!

Facebook Me Captain!

It was only a matter of time before I entered into the topic of,

Facebook

Yes, yes...I realize that this is not a new thing at all, I myself have had one for quite awhile.

BUT

There have been recent changes and discussions about it that have caught my attention.

For all you socially awkward people out there:

Facebook is an online networking system that allows you to talk with people...without having to come up with instant responses like on IM.

If you are so socially awkward that you don't know what Facebook is, then you probably wouldn't be reading this blog in the first place......moving on

Who remembers the old fad before Facebook?

MYSPACE!!

However, this social network site has been traded in for Facebook..

Mainly because Facebook has:

• Better applications,
  
• Better interface,
  
• It's safer, and
  
• More people use it..........

And of course because Myspace is now reserved for pedophiles....but who's judging?

How am I allowed to make these assumptions you ask?

Easy

• It has better applications because there are millions of games, puzzles, interface options, and fun things to do on Facebook....which no offense, beats out being able to....

"Change Your Cursor!!!!! Whoaaaaa!!!"

• The interface is much easier to read. You don't have a million spam and hoax downloads all over the side of your screen. There are tabs allowing you to look at your information in different categories...which are the same throughout everybodies account.
  

Unlike Myspace where you find yourself scrolling through random nonsense on their page, while not being able to see the font through the giant picture have a half naked woman they set as their background.

• Safer isn't even up for debate. The security protection on Facebook is top notch...unless you yourself screw it up. And random strangers can't go in and see your information and pictures....YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THEM AS A FRIEND.....what a concept.

However,

I sometimes theorize whether or not kids will soon find some other site to talk to each other..because recently something has been taking place that scares children everywhere.

PARENTS ARE GETTING FACEBOOKS!!!!!!!

When I say parents, I of course mean our parents, teachers, strange adults, old people......everyone

You see...parents have this deep desire to be seen as "Cool" and "Hip" or "In with the kids".

This causes them to rationalize very irrational decisions...such as getting Facebook accounts.

They don't understand that Billy who posts funny jokes to his friends, and has pictures of himself partying at college....doesn't want his mom commenting on his picture about how he should be studying, or how cute he looks in that hat.

There should be a law,

1st Amendment:

If you are an adult
you should create your own networking system or continue to use email.

2nd Amendment:

If you are in your 20's and you have a Facebook...once you turn 30 your account should be terminated or transfered to the adult networking site...because you have lost you "coolness" status, no matter how bad you want it back.

Now I don't mean to be hating on adults....they love us and try their hardest to keep up with the times.

But we've all had our dad at one point or another look at us and go,

"That was wicked!"

And we just walked away shaking our head.

So who knows the future of Facebook??

Everyone thought Myspace was going to be the ultimate site until Facebook came out

...... and kids realized Myspace was creepy.

Now Facebook is having an influx of adults...and maybe some new site will come out that kids will flock to before adults know what hit them.

Because let's be honest:

How long does it take adults to figure out what's cool...and then figure out how to do it?

HOMEWORK: WATCH A 40 YEAR OLD TRY AND USE YOUTUBE

..........Case and Point

Talk to Ya Later!

Love Is In The Air....Wait That's Not Love!!

I have to say, I'm sorry about this..because I thought I posted this sooner, and it never went up.

Yay Technical Difficulties!!!

So ignore the fact that this is a little late and just enjoy my fun Valentine rules.....

So in the spirit of love, Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!!!!

For all of you who have a loved one, make sure to get him or her something nice, and spend time with one another.

And Yes,

I'm sorry for all the single people reading this post.

Being single on Valentine's Day is like being Jewish on Christmas.

But that's okay, we're all here for you....

unless of course we're with our loved ones...

and then you're alone

As I usually do with holidays...it's time to lay down some ground rules.

• -First of all, MEN....no matter what you think of your girlfriend...deep down she is just as sappy as the rest of them. So there is no need to go crazy with spending money. A simple dinner will do just fine, some flowers, maybe chocolates.

For God Sake...even a picture of two stick figures holding hands that you scribbled on the back of your homework will give her that lovey dovey feeling she's been wanting.

• -WOMEN, The above does not apply. You must get your man large, expensive gifts for Valentine's Day............Just Kidding

I actually don't have any real help for women, because men are much harder to please.
Just always remember:

Food=Happiness

If you happen to be single on Valentine's Day....there is something you should do.

STAY INSIDE!!!!!!

You must close and bolt your door!!!

Close your window shades!!!

Unplug your phone for heaven's sake!!!

You can't risk having any of the love that's in the air seeping into your home and throwing you into a

deep,
dark depression

(Actually the healthy thing to do would probably be to hang out with a bunch of other friends who are single and play games or go to the movies...but where's the drama in that??)

And then of course there is the odd class of individual...THE PARENT

For some reason parents think this:

Valentine's Day=Mother's Day

....Not the case

Yes mom and dad, your children love you...
Yes they want to spend time with you (sometimes)
But assuming that you take the place of someone's girlfriend or boyfriend on Valentine's Day...

This is a lie

And that about does it for Valentine's Day.

So just remember:

Touchy Feely, Food, hugs and kisses, condoms, loved ones (not parents), and couples

Subliminal Messaging SUPPOSEDLY works.

Talk to ya later!!

Grammyfication

So I had the joy of watching:

The 51st Grammy Awards

For those of you who watched the Grammys...you know that it was actually pretty well done,

(Considering what today's music COULD do to a perfectly good awards ceremony.)

If you didn't see it...I'm NOT going to try and fit a 3 hour compilation of music into a blog.

It's your fault you didn't watch it, and go ask someone you know about the specifics.

HOWEVER.....

In light of the Grammys I have decided to bring up something that many music venues have completely forgotten forgotten forgotten ...and something many people seem to be confused about.

This is called:

-TALENT-

As a singer myself I have to say...
singing isn't all it's cracked up to be.

People talk about how much effort it takes,

• The Training!
  
• The Unbelievable Practice Involved!!

The Truth Is...

You're either born with it...or you're not

Nobody was ever born completely tone deaf,
And then suddenly went into training
And came out singing Aida!!!
AMAZING!!!

It doesn't happen...even if we would all like to think it does.

So now that we've established the fact that most singers don't deserve all the praise they get because it is luck of the draw on their part...

What counts as talent?

INSTRUMENTS:

I think that it's safe to say that most instrumentalists are more talented than singers.

A person can be born with the ability to sing...

Google 4 year old singers, there are plenty of them...

But nobody is born with the ability to rock out on the piano or shred on the guitar,

(Not counting a rare child prodigy).

Instrumentalists take:

• Constant practice,
  
• Build up of finger or lip muscles,
  
• Music Reading
  

So when you watch something such as the Grammys, and the famous singer has a back-up trumpeter or pianist... It is safe to say that back-up instrumentalist is usually more "talented" than the singer.

SINGING:

When it comes to music there are an infinite amount of styles:

• rap,
  
• hip hop,
  
• pop,
  
• classical,
  
• jazz,
  
• etc..

So which style takes more talent?

The Answer:
It depends on the artist

If there is a male pop singer with the range of a soprano and can do more runs than RoadRunner....then that is not natural...He's talented

If there is a rapper who has the ability to rhyme his or her sentences better than Dr. Seuss ever could..and still appeal to teenagers....

You might not like the sound of the music, but they're talented.

If someone can do it on American Idol...then the singer isn't as talented as you think they are.



So when looking at these guidelines for talent, it's safe to say that you can look at the Grammys with new eyes.

The music industry of 2009 really isn't that talented.

Yes, there are a few good singers here and there...but overall if you go see an artist of today live, you're disappointed..

Why???

Because in today's age singers voices are altered with technology,

Instruments are replaced with sound machines,

and TALENT is overall missing.

----Maybe one day the world will wake up and suddenly realize that most of these singers we idolize are not that much better than you or me...they simply got lucky at a certain point in their life.

....But I highly doubt THAT will ever happen.

Talk to ya Later!

SuperBowl Sunday

IT'S HERE!!!!!

OMG DAIRY QUEEN BARBEQUE!!!

.....That doesn't even make sense

So it's Superbowl Sunday and people are going wild.

No....not as wild as usual because there is one minor difference...

THE PATRIOTS AREN'T IN IT!!!!!!

For all of you who are not Patriot's fans, I am sorry that you had to be subjected to that kind of abuse. But I go to a state college in Massachusetts.....making 95% of the population here Patriot's fans.

However

That is not to say that

• people aren't excited,
• food isn't being gathered, and
• Superbowl showings aren't being held around the campus

.....Because they are

I myself am not THAT excited about Superbowl Sunday...mainly because I'm not a fan of either of the teams. So I'll be cheering on for a different reason....

THE COMMERCIALS

....How sad does that sound??

Now it is safe to say that the Superbowl commercials have gotten worse and worse

- To the point that there is usually only 1 or 2 really good commercials.

But Hey.

I can enjoy them if I want to.

Especially since Halftime Shows have begun to get so bad that I actually bring extra spoons to the Superbowl viewing so that when the half time show comes on....

I can beginning ripping out my eardrums.

For those of you who don't know...there are a few MAN rules about the Superbowl that must be abided by. If these generalities are not followed, then horrible consequences may occur.

Because I am such a kind and loving individual, I've decided to make up a list of some of these "formalities" that need to be followed.

#1: Nobody should ever enter a viewing of the Superbowl without a bowl of something that contains extreme amounts of either fat, cheese, or dipping sauce. And don't forget that this has to be brought in the proper serving.....Meaning it must be more food than anyone could ever eat in a lifetime.

#2: An individual who has no knowledge of the game, teams, or etiquette will need to sit in the back of the room. Other than during the commercials, this person HAS to stay quiet during the entire event...mainly for risk of being punched by the people who know what they are doing.

#3: If you even think of crossing in front of the TV during the game, you should expect to yelled at along with being pelted by any food items that are around the current vicinity. That's non-negotiable.

#4: Snack runs are important because if the group runs out of snacks during an important part of the game...this can be devestating. Therefore snack runs are done by the people who know the game THE LEAST. Basically, if you don't know what a cover two defense is...I hope you can serve a great taco.

#5: Nobody leaves early............NOBODY



Of course there are many more rules, but I'll let the people who do not know them figure those out for themselves. And if you have any fun ones, you can always leave them in a comment.

So remember...Stay safe and have fun.

I don't want to see any of you running through the streets naked or jumping up and down on an overturned car.

Talk to ya Later!

Stimulus Plan...Not That Stimulating

Now I know for a fact that there are a lot of you out there yelling at me right now. Saying things like:

"You're not supposed to talk about anything serious"

"Don't remind us of how bad things are right now!"

"Aaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh"

I hate to break it to you....but being in college means the economy effects my life too, so I can't COMPLETELY ignore the fact that our country is in the crapper.

And besides, it's not like I'm boring. If I can be interesting enough to get a few people to read about important issues today, then

Kudos
to
me.

I'm sure many of you have heard about Obama's idea.

It's NEW

It's AWESOME

It's THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS

IT'S...........

OBAMA'S STIMULUS PLAN!!!! (Fanfare can be heard playing)

If you haven't heard of this, well then you should probably turn on the TV....or just check your empty wallet.

That echo you hear as you yell into your piggy bank? That's the sound of CHANGE

I'm a big Obama supporter, I'm a liberal all the way. But I am not a Change Zombie who follows him around repeating the phrase "Yesss weee caaannn...Yessss weee caaannn".

Lightbulb!!

Just because it's Obama's plan, doesn't mean it's going to work. Crazy Right??

Basically Obama is trying to get the economy pumping by pushing this 825 Billion Dollar Project.

- (Born from FDR's idea in the Great Depression)

Now 275 Billion Dollars is going to be passed out in the form of..........

TAX CUTS!!!!!

YAAAYYY!!!! .....too bad it won't work

The idea is to get people buying stuff so that companies don't go belly up, and people don't lose their jobs. The only problem is that people are going to use this money to pay things like bills and loans...and not TVs and Cars...which is what needs to happen.

So that plan goes down the tubes.

BUT WAIT!!!!!

What about the other money??

Well that's going on big infrastructure projects...we're talking the fixing of

• Buildings,
• Roadways, and
• A bunch of other stuff.

The idea behind this is that all of this will create new jobs for people and places to spend money.

Here's the kicker.

This will create some great jobs for ALL the people who know how to operate jackhammers and mix cement.

Awwwwww......Too bad that the other 99% of the population who aren't welders are going to be left out.

And if people think it's going to cover anywhere near the 3 million jobs that were lost in the past year...they're lying to themselves. Good Job America.

It's the biggest government spending project in "The History of the World!!"

.....and it's a joke

At some point these trillions of dollars are going to have to be paid back...so hang on to your wallet, because it's probably going to take a generation to do it. And for those of you who need that explained to you.......that's you.

You see....it's critical that Obama's plan be focused more on the root of the problems. This is

housing market,

consumer buying,

and jobs.

And instead of coming up with a good plan, he was rushed into a quick decision to try and show America that he's going to Instill Change.

So he did what any politician would do....he took more money than anyone could afford and shoved it into a plan that won't work.

Now I am not a "glass is half empty" kind of guy...I know full well that we have many more years with Obama...and who knows, maybe he'll surprise us all.

All I'm saying is we're not off to a very good start.

We thought the problem couldn't get worse after Bush was gone.....

TADA!!!!

Next time I'll probably be funnier...don't you worry


Talk to ya later!

Some Catching Up to Do...

Hi Everyone!

So I've bet you've noticed that it's been quite a while sinced the last time I wrote anything.

It's not because I don't love you...our relationship is still something you should cherish.

All this does is teach us a very valuable lesson.......

College Kids Are Lazy

Some of you are probably going,

"No, you've gone too far...the children of todays generation are eager individuals who want nothing more than to apply themselves and propel towards the future!"

I'm not saying that it is False...I'm just saying it's not TRUE.

This is a veeeery important thing,
mainly for
parents



It's amazing how many moms and dads of college students sit by the silent telephone and picture their kids saying things like...

"MUAHAHA, I think today I won't call my parents..Let's see how they like THAT!!"

But this isn't the case at all.

What parents need to learn, is that when kids go off to college they suddenly develop what can best be described as a mild case of Alzheimers.

Except unlike the real disease, this one only partains to the word:

RESPONSIBILITY

You ask a college student what time Dominos stops delivering or what time the shuttle goes to Wal-Mart and you get an instant answer.

But even mention the words:

• "Financial Aid",
• "Mandatory Floor Meeting",
• "Call Mom and Dad"

...and suddenly we're all experiencing momentary blackouts.

We're not out to get anybody...Just thinking for ourselves like the teenagers we are

So ya...I took some Bliss time

Saw the sunlight for a change

Got to know some people

Maybe made a few friends

Sang a few songs

Sacrificed a few middle-schoolers

That last part wasn't actually true, I was just seeing if you were paying attention

But I'm back!!!!

And a lot has happened since then...so I guess I'll get started!