I have terrible terrible news!!!!
I am no longer in the dorm room!!!!!!
I'm going to have to change the name of this blog to..."From The House Which Is Almost But Not Quite As Interesting As The Dorm Room"
.....Or I could just keep the name the same because summer is not permanant
Which brings me to my first point:
SUMMER
Yes Ladies and Gentleman, school is finally out!!!!
...And yet something is off
Apparantly during High School summer was the best thing to ever happen to a child:
- Nice Weather!
- Freedom!
- Friends!
- Movies!
Then suddenly I went to college and now....
- Nice Weather!
- Job!
- Friends in other parts of the country!
- Bored out of my mind!
That list didn't sound as awesome did it??
That's because college actually wasn't that bad...in fact I can't wait to go back
WHAT???
DID I SAY I CAN'T WAIT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL??
(If you are not on the same page as me then your college experience was not what it should have been...try harder)
In Other News..
Some of you may have noticed that I am up at 5 in the morning...
This is because I couldn't sleep
Obviously it is because I have SWINE FLU!!!!!!!!!
Just Kidding
But Really...I'm kind of sick of the "Swine Flu Epidemic" that's sweeping our nation
And when I say sweeping our nation,
I mean being blown out of proportion by our media
Yes I love you newspaper, television, and radio....but this just won't do
For their amusement the media finds it necessary to focus on how catastrophic the swine flu is
Along with leaving out the fact that THOUSANDS more people dying from the "normal" flu...and the fact that the VACCINE has killed more people than the disease
......Wow
And just when I thought the media couldn't blow anything else out of proportion...A new story came out
RETURN YOUR RAW COOKIE DOUGH!!!!!
YOU WILL DIE IF YOU EAT THIS
HORRIBLE,
TAINTED,
DESERT FOOD!
Apparantly 66 people have gotten E.Colli sickness over the past 4 months
......I'll say that again
66
There are 300 billion people in the U.S. and 66 people got sick (And Lived)
According to Health Dictionary 3 out of every 10 thousand people get E. Coli
....That's an expected 10 million cases a year
....66 people is a speed bump
...Or a pebble
No No Wait
It's a Bacterium
*Ba Dum Ching
According to news sources "many" of them had
eaten raw cookie dough before
....."Many" not "All"
Therefore it MUST be the cookie dough
That's like saying 100 people got Cancer and 60 of them drank fruit punch
....Well obviously Hawaiian Punch causes Cancer
WHAT?!?!?!?
Anyone who has bought TollHouse Cookie Dough must return it right now
Because the millions of other people eating cookie dough right now and NOT getting sick are crazy
LIGHTBULB!
COOKING=KILLING OF BACTERIA
Why don't people just cook the cookie dough instead?
You get E. Coli poisoning from eating raw beef...but we're still allowed to cook THAT
*Golf Clap For Jeff
HOMEWORK:
Eat TollHouse Cookie Dough
Tape Yourself NOT Dying
Send The Tape To CNN
Talk to Ya Later!
