Thursday, January 29, 2009

Stimulus Plan...Not That Stimulating

Now I know for a fact that there are a lot of you out there yelling at me right now. Saying things like:

"You're not supposed to talk about anything serious"

"Don't remind us of how bad things are right now!"

I hate to break it to you....but being in college means the economy effects my life too, so I can't COMPLETELY ignore the fact that our country is in the crapper.

And besides, it's not like I'm boring. If I can be interesting enough to get a few people to read about important issues today, then


I'm sure many of you have heard about Obama's idea.

It's NEW
OBAMA'S STIMULUS PLAN!!!! (Fanfare can be heard playing)

If you haven't heard of this, well then you should probably turn on the TV....or just check your empty wallet.

That echo you hear as you yell into your piggy bank? That's the sound of CHANGE

I'm a big Obama supporter, I'm a liberal all the way. But I am not a Change Zombie who follows him around repeating the phrase "Yesss weee caaannn...Yessss weee caaannn".


Just because it's Obama's plan, doesn't mean it's going to work. Crazy Right??

Basically Obama is trying to get the economy pumping by pushing this 825 Billion Dollar Project.

- (Born from FDR's idea in the Great Depression)

Now 275 Billion Dollars is going to be passed out in the form of..........
YAAAYYY!!!! .....too bad it won't work

The idea is to get people buying stuff so that companies don't go belly up, and people don't lose their jobs. The only problem is that people are going to use this money to pay things like bills and loans...and not TVs and Cars...which is what needs to happen.

So that plan goes down the tubes.


What about the other money??

Well that's going on big infrastructure projects...we're talking the fixing of

  • Buildings,
  • Roadways, and
  • A bunch of other stuff.

The idea behind this is that all of this will create new jobs for people and places to spend money.

Here's the kicker.

This will create some great jobs for ALL the people who know how to operate jackhammers and mix cement.

Awwwwww......Too bad that the other 99% of the population who aren't welders are going to be left out.

And if people think it's going to cover anywhere near the 3 million jobs that were lost in the past year...they're lying to themselves. Good Job America.

It's the biggest government spending project in "The History of the World!!"

.....and it's a joke

At some point these trillions of dollars are going to have to be paid hang on to your wallet, because it's probably going to take a generation to do it. And for those of you who need that explained to you.......that's you.

You's critical that Obama's plan be focused more on the root of the problems. This is

housing market,
consumer buying,
and jobs.

And instead of coming up with a good plan, he was rushed into a quick decision to try and show America that he's going to Instill Change.

So he did what any politician would do....he took more money than anyone could afford and shoved it into a plan that won't work.

Now I am not a "glass is half empty" kind of guy...I know full well that we have many more years with Obama...and who knows, maybe he'll surprise us all.

All I'm saying is we're not off to a very good start.
We thought the problem couldn't get worse after Bush was gone.....


Next time I'll probably be funnier...don't you worry

Talk to ya later!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Some Catching Up to Do...

Hi Everyone!

So I've bet you've noticed that it's been quite a while sinced the last time I wrote anything.

It's not because I don't love you...our relationship is still something you should cherish.

All this does is teach us a very valuable lesson.......

College Kids Are Lazy

Some of you are probably going,

"No, you've gone too far...the children of todays generation are eager individuals who want nothing more than to apply themselves and propel towards the future!"
I'm not saying that it is False...I'm just saying it's not TRUE.

This is a veeeery important thing,
mainly for

It's amazing how many moms and dads of college students sit by the silent telephone and picture their kids saying things like...

"MUAHAHA, I think today I won't call my parents..Let's see how they like THAT!!"

But this isn't the case at all.

What parents need to learn, is that when kids go off to college they suddenly develop what can best be described as a mild case of Alzheimers.

Except unlike the real disease, this one only partains to the word:


You ask a college student what time Dominos stops delivering or what time the shuttle goes to Wal-Mart and you get an instant answer.

But even mention the words:

  • "Financial Aid",
  • "Mandatory Floor Meeting",
  • "Call Mom and Dad"

...and suddenly we're all experiencing momentary blackouts.

We're not out to get anybody...Just thinking for ourselves like the teenagers we are

So ya...I took some Bliss time

Saw the sunlight for a change

Got to know some people

Maybe made a few friends

Sang a few songs

Sacrificed a few middle-schoolers

That last part wasn't actually true, I was just seeing if you were paying attention

But I'm back!!!!

And a lot has happened since I guess I'll get started!