Stimulus Plan...Not That Stimulating

Now I know for a fact that there are a lot of you out there yelling at me right now. Saying things like:

"You're not supposed to talk about anything serious"

"Don't remind us of how bad things are right now!"

"Aaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh"

I hate to break it to you....but being in college means the economy effects my life too, so I can't COMPLETELY ignore the fact that our country is in the crapper.

And besides, it's not like I'm boring. If I can be interesting enough to get a few people to read about important issues today, then

Kudos
to
me.

I'm sure many of you have heard about Obama's idea.

It's NEW

It's AWESOME

It's THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS

IT'S...........

OBAMA'S STIMULUS PLAN!!!! (Fanfare can be heard playing)

If you haven't heard of this, well then you should probably turn on the TV....or just check your empty wallet.

That echo you hear as you yell into your piggy bank? That's the sound of CHANGE

I'm a big Obama supporter, I'm a liberal all the way. But I am not a Change Zombie who follows him around repeating the phrase "Yesss weee caaannn...Yessss weee caaannn".

Lightbulb!!

Just because it's Obama's plan, doesn't mean it's going to work. Crazy Right??

Basically Obama is trying to get the economy pumping by pushing this 825 Billion Dollar Project.

- (Born from FDR's idea in the Great Depression)

Now 275 Billion Dollars is going to be passed out in the form of..........

TAX CUTS!!!!!

YAAAYYY!!!! .....too bad it won't work

The idea is to get people buying stuff so that companies don't go belly up, and people don't lose their jobs. The only problem is that people are going to use this money to pay things like bills and loans...and not TVs and Cars...which is what needs to happen.

So that plan goes down the tubes.

BUT WAIT!!!!!

What about the other money??

Well that's going on big infrastructure projects...we're talking the fixing of

• Buildings,
• Roadways, and
• A bunch of other stuff.

The idea behind this is that all of this will create new jobs for people and places to spend money.

Here's the kicker.

This will create some great jobs for ALL the people who know how to operate jackhammers and mix cement.

Awwwwww......Too bad that the other 99% of the population who aren't welders are going to be left out.

And if people think it's going to cover anywhere near the 3 million jobs that were lost in the past year...they're lying to themselves. Good Job America.

It's the biggest government spending project in "The History of the World!!"

.....and it's a joke

At some point these trillions of dollars are going to have to be paid back...so hang on to your wallet, because it's probably going to take a generation to do it. And for those of you who need that explained to you.......that's you.

You see....it's critical that Obama's plan be focused more on the root of the problems. This is

housing market,

consumer buying,

and jobs.

And instead of coming up with a good plan, he was rushed into a quick decision to try and show America that he's going to Instill Change.

So he did what any politician would do....he took more money than anyone could afford and shoved it into a plan that won't work.

Now I am not a "glass is half empty" kind of guy...I know full well that we have many more years with Obama...and who knows, maybe he'll surprise us all.

All I'm saying is we're not off to a very good start.

We thought the problem couldn't get worse after Bush was gone.....

TADA!!!!

Next time I'll probably be funnier...don't you worry


Talk to ya later!

Some Catching Up to Do...

Hi Everyone!

So I've bet you've noticed that it's been quite a while sinced the last time I wrote anything.

It's not because I don't love you...our relationship is still something you should cherish.

All this does is teach us a very valuable lesson.......

College Kids Are Lazy

Some of you are probably going,

"No, you've gone too far...the children of todays generation are eager individuals who want nothing more than to apply themselves and propel towards the future!"

I'm not saying that it is False...I'm just saying it's not TRUE.

This is a veeeery important thing,
mainly for
parents



It's amazing how many moms and dads of college students sit by the silent telephone and picture their kids saying things like...

"MUAHAHA, I think today I won't call my parents..Let's see how they like THAT!!"

But this isn't the case at all.

What parents need to learn, is that when kids go off to college they suddenly develop what can best be described as a mild case of Alzheimers.

Except unlike the real disease, this one only partains to the word:

RESPONSIBILITY

You ask a college student what time Dominos stops delivering or what time the shuttle goes to Wal-Mart and you get an instant answer.

But even mention the words:

• "Financial Aid",
• "Mandatory Floor Meeting",
• "Call Mom and Dad"

...and suddenly we're all experiencing momentary blackouts.

We're not out to get anybody...Just thinking for ourselves like the teenagers we are

So ya...I took some Bliss time

Saw the sunlight for a change

Got to know some people

Maybe made a few friends

Sang a few songs

Sacrificed a few middle-schoolers

That last part wasn't actually true, I was just seeing if you were paying attention

But I'm back!!!!

And a lot has happened since then...so I guess I'll get started!

Happy Holidays...Kinda

Well,

It's the last week before Christmas Vacation...also known as FINALS WEEK.

This is a time of

horror

squalor

and where the ability to torture innocent students is given to professors everywhere.

For those of you in college ( High School counts to some degree, but you really have no idea until you come here)...there are some things you should know about having a sane Finals Week experience.

• First of All, do not pull all nighters. This is something I tried, regretted, and am now passing the knowledge on to you.

-It is a proven fact that even just 3 hours of sleep will take what you learned that night, and put it into your "deep memory" while you sleep-

If you stay up all night, then your mind never gets that chance.

Plus, slaving over a calculus book at 4 in the morning while throwing back Red Bulls can't be good for you in the end

• Also, make sure to study hard BEFORE the Finals. More and more do I see kids trying to Sparknote "Othello" by Shakespeare, 2 hours before the final! Valiant as this is, you probably aren't going to pass the test with flying colors. Instead, try taking a stab at looking at the play a week before the final

This way if you fail it's because you aren't very smart, and not because you didn't try :)

Now I know for a fact that there are...

dun..dun...dunnnn....

ADULTS!!!!

And you adults read this blog. And you're probably saying to yourself, "Well thank God I'm not in college anymore."

WRONG WRONG WRONG

These rules apply to you too!!!

If you are guzzling down Monsters while pulling an all nighter on a report due to your boss in 4 hours....Then you're no better than an 18 year old.


IN OTHER NEWS...(Notice how I sounded like a reporter there..though I may be the craziest reporter you've ever seen)

Christmastime is only a matter of days away..and there are some of you who have yet to buy your Christmas presents.

The only excuse for this is if you're Jewish!!

There are insane mothers out at 3 a.m. on Black Friday buying out Wal-Mart...how do you expect to beat these people if you're still parked on your couch watching The Year Without a Santa Clause, and drinking Egg Nog like it's your job??

Get off your couch

.... and go get something for people you love, even if it's gum from the conveniant store down the street. Because we all know you'll feel like crap if they get you some great christmas present, and your only excuse is:

" uhhh...there were some great Christmas specials this year."


So I'll be heading home soon, and I'll probably do a couple blogs from there, because I'm not coming back until the middle of January...and I KNOW how you can't live without me.

Until then..

Talk to ya later!

A Holiday Minute

Well I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Now obviously I didn't have any posts coming over vacation, but that would have been ironic if Iblogged "From The Dorm Room" from my house.

....Soooo, I'm back in my dorm room and I KNOW I had a great Thanksgiving. And there is something interesting that happens when you come back to college after a vacation..........

Your GLAD to be back!!

Now this is completely different from High School, where children DREADED the day when you had to go back to your teachers and back to your classes, But College isn't like High School, and therefore something different happens.


There are a couple reasons for this:

- First of All, college is not just about the classes. (Though parents would like to think it is)...There is the fact that you are living on your own, there are friends, places to go, and something interesting is always happening. EVEN if all you do is sit in a lounge and talk with a group of kids....there's something that makes it more fun than doing something like that back home.

- You're doing what you want. Classes are no longer all the random crap that you'll never use in life, instead you've chosen EXACTLY what you are going to take, and even enjoy doing it (though we might not always admit it). Going to class is no longer an all day event...a student might have 2 or 3 classes a day, and do fun stuff in-between each one.

- Kids enjoy being ON THEIR OWN!!! Now this is NOT to say that we don't like going home, because that would crush a lot of parents' hearts, it's just...we like VISITING home, our parents and friends, however we've now been exposed to living by our own rules and like the feeling. So going home is NICE, but students will find themselves happy to be going back to college in the end.

Now there is one other item on the agenda before I let you go....and that's CHRISTMASSS!!!!

Now if you're in a dorm room like I am..then I have some rules that you should really follow if you want to give everyone a nice early college christmas, and still stay sane yourself.

First of All...

DON'T BUY EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW IN COLLEGE GIFTS!!!!!!

This is a big no no. If you take your campus shuttle to Wal-Mart and buy every person on your floor and their brother a christmas present, you'll have found yourself spending $500 before you can say woops.

So keep it to these three people:

1. Girlfriend/Boyfriend
2. Roommate
3. Best Friend

Everyone else can get a candy cane or something.

If there are some girls on your floor, get them soap...they'll go wild and it'll cost you 5 bucks.

Some guys?? Food=Happiness

Keep the real gifts for the 3 people I mentioned.

Everyone will feel they got something for christmas from you...and you'll be happier because you've still got some dough in your back pocket.

Happy Holidays!


Talk to ya Later!

Thanksgiving Tips..THE RIGHT WAY

So...

I'm on my way to leave my dorm room for Thanksgiving Break! I'm finally escaping the college atmosphere and going back to my house to eat a great Thanksgiving dinner. And I was looking through a bunch of articles online about Thanksgiving, and while I was reading I came upon this article of tips from Reader's Digest:

If you are the host...

-Plan to provide a traditional Thanksgiving feast, then be creative with side dishes.
-Whenever anyone offers to help or bring a dish, say, "Yes, thank you!"
-Use hollowed bread loaves for charming serving containers for cheeses, dips, olives, chips and small sandwiches.
-Once the table settings and centerpiece are in place, sit in each chair to make sure each guest will feel comfortable.
-Include favorite kids' foods, especially those they can eat neatly with their fingers.
-Provide at least one low-calorie dish and a vegetarian option. Then serve a sinful dessert.
-Completely clear the table of all dishes from previous courses before serving dessert.
-Fill the sink with soapy water so cutlery and small dishes can soak clean as the guests are finishing.
-Make it easy for guests who help you clean up to help you recycle. Place bins in the kitchen labeled "glass," "cans" and "trash."
-Keep club soda nearby to clean spots or stains on the tablecloth or clothing.

If you are a guest...
-Arrive no earlier than the time the host has announced and no later than half an hour after the time.
-Plan to stay about an hour after dinner unless travel plans or sleepy children necessitate leaving earlier.
-Bring a gift and write a note of thanks afterward.
-Offer to help set up for dinner and to clean afterward.
-Notify the host of any special dietary needs -- if you are a vegetarian, diabetic or allergic to common foods. You can tell the host how to prepare a dish you can eat, or even better, offer to bring that dish yourself.
-If you're going to a potluck Thanksgiving, bring a serving dish with your contribution. Remember, the best potluck dishes are those that need minimal preparation in the host's kitchen, can be served at room temperature and require only a fork to eat.



Ok, I don't know about you, but I have some tips of my own. And a lot of them counteract the tips given by the great "Reader's Digest".

First of All, the beginning tips as a host are obvious when creating a Thanksgiving dinner, but making a side dinner for children??? The meal is classic...turkey, mashed potatos, corn, cranberry sauce, blah blah blah
...And if your winey kid is complaining about it, the mom yells at him, tells him to be thankful for once in his life, and the kid has to eat it in silence or go to time out. That's how most family's work.

If you're a guest, the tips are COMPLETELY different.

Reader's Digest tells you to plan to stay about an hour after dinner is over. Those of us who have dinner with the family KNOW this is not even close to the amount of time you're going to spend there.

We're talking
clearing the table,
washing dishes,
talking with grandparents,
catching ALL of the football game,
and a lot more.
If you think you're going to scarf down your dinner and book it out of there in an hour...you are highly mistaken.

Now the tip that talks about setting up dinner before hand and cleaning up afterwards, there is not much of a choice in that.

As a college student I'm still considered a child ( Yes we are, to bad fellow students )...and that mean when Grandma tells you to collect the plates and bring them in the kitchen...you collect the plates and bring them in the kitchen.
This is not the PROPER thing to do
........this is what you to avoid getting a slap on the hands later.

And as for bringing your own dish to Thanksgiving dinner....SOMETIMES people do this. But most of the time you just end up coming an hour early and getting forced to stir gravy for 20 minutes while the host finishes cooking up the meal.

So as as human being, you don't really need tips like this from Reader's Digest. You know exactly what your family meals entail and how they are going to set up and clean up for them. So nobody should be reading Thanksgiving Tips online, instead you should just go to your family's house like you always do and enjoy the big eating event that is Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

And Talk to ya Later!

The Female Species...College Style

So amidst everything that is happening in today's day in age, there always remains the life mystery of WOMEN

Now I have a girlfriend...however this does not mean I understand the female sex any better than any other man. However, an interesting thing happened today that I figured I would write about...and might as well include a little information to any female reader that might be reading this post.

- So I was at an event (Don't Ask What)....and there was this cute girl who decided to hit on me. Now of course I told her that I already had a girlfriend.... *Brownie Points* .....But she still decided to talk and flirt, and she walked around the campus with me and back to the residence hall where we parted ways.

Now with this story in mind it should be obvious that the fact that I have a girlfriend has no effect on this girl. Why is that you ask?? Well it's Simple....

SHE WANTS TO MAKE SURE SHE'S ON THE WAITING LIST

No guy really understands why girls do this...If you're reading this and have an answer (Or think you do anyway) feel free to comment and tell me. Because when a guy sees a girl, if she's taken, end of story we leave her alone and look for hotties elsewhere. But a girl will work at getting a guy, maybe they're just more competitive then we are, (And they say GUYS are the stereotypical horny animals)


Now that the little story is done and over with, I have here a couple tips for women (mainly in high school) that should help you understand guys a little more. Maybe why some boy doesn't like you, or why guys always repeat this phrase......


COLLEGE GIRLS ARE BETTER



1. MAKEUP and CLOTHING: This is the number one cause ladies. For some reason when girls are in High School, they feel it necessary to dress in style everyday, where long earrings, cake on makeup and odd colored eyeliner, pour gel and hairspray into their hair and then wonder why the guys go for older girls......STOP IT.....
When people go to college they suddenly drop to the same fashion level as hobo's....and oddly enough look better for it.
Half the time a girl is better looking without any makeup on....Whether she thinks so or not (It's the guy's opinion that you're striving for remember? )....and in college girls suddenly don't where as much makeup, they let their natural hair fall in place because of laziness, and stay in sweatpants and t-shirt. Which by the way...



SWEATPANTS + T-SHIRT OR TANK TOP = GUY'S #1 TURN ON




Why do you think a guy looks at a girl who just woke up in the morning with her hair naturally in front of her face and stretching in her sweatpants and think it's hot?? I don't know..but High School girls have this idea that getting dressed up everyday is what guys want to see, and it's just wrong.




2. They're Looking For A Guy:
While in High School girls will hit on anyone as long as they have a six pack. There are your share of slutty girls, shy girls, loud girls, and many more...all looking for the "Perfect Guy".
But once in college girls have seen enough guys. They've seen their share of idiot drunks throwing up, Frat Boys jumping off banisters, nerds with their face in books...and suddenly they're looking for an actual GUY...and are sick of the six pack, abercrombie and fitch model. This gives cute, nice guys a fighting chance...AND THEY TAKE IT.
So if you're in High School and you're reading this...Give the nice guy a chance, because 9 times out of 10 the hot partier is just going to be a problem later on.


3. The Unknown:
Guys are attracted to a girl more often than not, because he does not know her. Most of the time a guy has grown up in a High School where he has known every girl who goes there since they were 6. Now suddenly there are all these college girls who don't have any history with him.
So..sorry girls, but you have a much better chance with the cute stranger from another school than your best 'guy' friend from elementary school.



Now this is not to say that all of these rules are 100% true. There are of course many exceptions and varying details, and you can't categorize them all....but these are the basics.


Talk To Ya Later!

I'm Dreamin of a White.....Thanksgiving??

I'm Not Kidding, It Snowed Today!!!

Obviously, there are those of you who have no idea, but North Adams is up in the mountains of Massachusetts....WHERE IT SNOWS IN THE FALL......

-The Picture is from my floor of the Residence Hall...Where I'm Still Warm-

Now all over campus there are students in full winter jackets, hats, the whole nine yards. so what does someone like me do at a time like this???

Well there are two kinds of people...There are the ones who will go out and have snowball fights and make snow angels and jump around in the white, fluffy powder. I personally think this should be illegal until December. No thinking about snow until then!!!

If "The 25 Days of Christmas" isn't on ABC Family yet....then I shouldn't see any snow outside.


The other type of person is the one who sits in their room all day while it is snowing and hopes that it ends quickly. But the heat in a college dorm is not high enough for you to be in a t-shirt and jeans..a sweatshirt is still required.

You want a Tip?

-Dress in normal clothing with a light jacket and go do a bunch of errands. Go somewhere to eat, visit people, just as long as you spend a good amount of time outside. Then run inside...Take a hot shower...Put on sweatpants and a sweatshirt...make yourself hot chocolate or warm milk...put your ipod on the stereo...turn on the news but turn off the volume so you are just watching the news to the music...wrap a blanket around yourself and hang out with friends.

^^^^The perfect thing to do on a snowy day. Trust Me, I've already had a couple....AND IT'S NOT EVEN THANKSGIVING!!!

Talk to ya later!